Budget

This is how I would do things if I were chancellor.

First I find it a bit crass that this has become such a media farce with details leaked, revealed and speculated about in advance. Today is budget day. Tell us then. If you want to give us a warning order on it then at least use the correct format.

Now whilst I dislike the increased trend towards it being a photo opportunity I would keep the front doorstep with red briefcase. THE briefcase would be weighted. I'd warm up by running to the step then jumping up and down it a few times. Whilst my legs are warm I'd perform some dynamic stretches and increase financial incentives for businesses to recruit. Some calf raises and squat jumps would complete the leg routine. The weighted briefcase I'd then use as a kettle bell weight to exhaustion in shoulder shrugs and press. Bicep curls would be alternated with press ups and dips from the step with the briefcase in lap. The typical holding up of the briefcase would then follow. Keeping core muscles engaged it would be raised directly to the front to shoulder height, rotated 90 degrees away from the body then lowered under control. This would be repeated to exhaustion on both arms. To complement this i would then hold it across the body by the hips and draw it up diagonally to shoulder height. Lowered vertically this would then be repeated in the same way. I'd probably finish by doing some sit ups then holding the briefcase directly above my head whilst lying on my back. It would then be brought up over my head and as it goes past the nose I' follow it up to sitting position with case held in front.

Id then enlist the help of the PM to symbolically present it by sitting up, throwing it to him, go down, back up in time to catch it as he throws it to me as I rise up. 20 of these.

Budget done.